This conversation is wildly needed, so I’m just gonna go ahead and ask it... 👉🏻 Are you self-conscious about your vulva?
Be honest. This is important because we’ve been told through society and mainstream media that our vulvas are not good enough. We’re told they’re supposed to look a certain way, smell a certain way, behave a certain way, and we all know I could go on. But you know what... we’re done with the ridiculous comparisons. From mainstream media to porn, to our terrible middle school sex-education. We are done with the labels and the criticism. It’s time to tell our vulvas, they ARE good vulvas and they deserve our love and acceptance! No two vulvas are the same and therefore no one should be beating themselves up over how it looks. No more feeling ashamed, and forget hiding in the dark and missing out on intimacy with your partner, or yourself. No matter what it looks like and how it functions, let's celebrate our vulvas for being the magical superhero that it really is.
I also wanted to note, women as young as in their early teens are getting labiaplasty. Teens! And this surgery is on the rise by 45% every year! I just want you to let that stat soak in for a moment. Thankfully, women are fed up with this reality, and there seems to be a shift happening where safe spaces like our "A Ladylike Sex Chat" are being created more and more every day.
If you're fed up feeling self-conscious about your vulva, and you want to learn more about how to accept and celebrate your lady parts just the way they are - you're in luck. If you are in Winnipeg, MB on October 16th we're poppin' champagne and talking sex, bodies, pleasure, and intimacy! Who's with us?!
The guest blog is written by Chantal Lacoste
Check out her soul-nourishing, mind-lifting,
self-love + body image coaching company Tillie & True
1) What is something that helped you learn to like your own vagina?
Learning about feminism and body positivity helped me learn to like my own vagina. Once I started opening my eyes to women who were learning to embrace themselves and opening up about their experiences, it helped me change my whole relationship I have with my body. Oh, and masturbating helps. I highly recommend it… just saying.
2) I sometimes deny myself juicy sex positions because I feel self-conscious about my body. What are some strategies to overcome these self-conscious thoughts so I can enjoy every position my partner and I want to try?
I’d say one thing that has really helped me to get out of my own head is focusing on being in the moment. I try and let go, I focus on the bodily sensations, the way I feel and my partner’s touch. I also communicate with my partner to a point where he knows exactly what I want, what I need and what insecurities I have. That way he can reassure me when my attention wanders and he brings me back to the moment.
3) Did you have a “birds and the bees” talk with your parents? If so, what age and did you feel comfortable asking questions?
I didn’t with my father, from what I remember. But I definitely had an extremely open conversation with my mother. I didn’t always agree with what advice she gave, but I remember talking to her as early as 15. Losing my virginity just two weeks shy of my 18th birthday. I was thankful I could talk to her about anything.
4) Did you feel like your sex-ed class in school prepared you for healthy sexual relationships? Why or why not?
Oh hell no. Because it was not relatable at all, it was outdated and there was no diversity or realism to it at all.
5) Why are the ladylike chats so important for women?
Because how the heck are we supposed to know what's good and what’s bad for us if we can’t even share it with women who can relate? How are we supposed to know we aren’t alone if we don’t create those safe spaces?