We often make judgments about people based on appearances, and that way of thinking trickles in when it comes to making decisions about who we want to work with, buy from, or support. We may not recognize it when it’s happening, but I can assure you…it’s happening.
I would estimate that just about everyone dislikes having a camera pointed in their direction, just as much as hearing their voice on a recording. You'll be happy to know that you aren't alone. In fact, I can tell you as an empowerment photographer I have never had a client book a session BECAUSE they know they look Bangin in all their photos.
I fell into the complex of the “strong black woman.” That we can take on insurmountable pressure without showing any signs of stress while continuing to be everything to everyone. I was consumed with the baby and navigating a relatively new relationship, completely neglecting myself.
I had to get comfortable with solitude, trading weekends out for nights in. Like any commitment, my relationship with myself takes dedication. My self-care is more important than date nights with my husband. Yes, I believe that putting myself first, setting high expectations of others and learning to set boundaries allowed me to call in true love.
You don't have to look far to see the popular self-help advice that suggests we "learn to love ourselves." I agree. It’s good advice, but how the hell do we do it? Accepting and finding peace within my body was something I once couldn’t imagine having. I’m not there yet, but my decision to practice a different way of thinking has started.
Our bodies are amazing and our desires are real. We must be open to exploring our pleasure. We must be open to learning from ourselves and our partners without shame or fear of judgment. That’s where the magic happens.
Here’s the thing: everything we’ve been taught works against us. Women are sold the idea that they will only feel sexy when they win the male gaze, and/or are selected or praised for their looks.
This conversation is wildly needed, so I’m just gonna go ahead and ask it... 👉🏻 Are you self-conscious about your vulva?
"Act like a lady. Be nice. Don't be such a bitch."
We've all heard it, haven't we?